"A major advantage of my outdated iPhone 8 is that it has proven theft-proof."

With the imminent release of the iPhone 16 range, I am yet again forced to consider my own mobile device. 

Released in 2017, I got my iPhone 8 in 2019, and it has since been my constant companion. 

In all honesty I was almost laughed out of the Apple store after I was forced to concede that my iPhone 5 had given up the ghost, and I asked them if they might have any more in the back. 

I can barely find cases for iPhone 8’s anymore, again, shopkeepers have to look in the back, only to return with a few hideous leftovers from the trends of 2017. 

My white Spigen case is barely hanging on, yet another failed relationship for my phone which sees cases come and go like a string of toxic relationships. 

The microphone packed up a little while ago, as did the battery, costing arguably more than the phone. On a recent trip to Hong Kong my phone was not advanced enough to download the app that gets you money off public transport, and I am unable to connect to most Bluetooth speakers. 

Why, then, do I continue to covet an archaic piece of technology that many would believe is holding me back in life? 

First and foremost, because I don’t care.

I have never been one to give any importance to the newest and flashiest technology, but I think more importantly, because of this apathy towards the latest technology, I have never tried it. 

I pay £15 a month (about $19.50) on a SIM-only contract for unlimited calls, texts and data, and never again want to be on a contract plan. 

My phone does everything I need, calls, texts, maps, translate, email, and a handful of other apps it has the memory space for, but I am fully aware that if I were to ever taste the futuristic complexities of a newer model, I doubt I would be able to go back.

While many believe I might be missing out on many life advancing technologies, I am OK with not being able to access filters that completely alter my face, relying on AI for everything, or having enough space to download Dr Pimple Popper.

Another major advantage of being so behind the times is that my iPhone 8 is theft proof. While walking home late at night in London last year I was asked to hand over my phone by a charming man who appeared from a dark side path.

Taking one look at my phone’s pitiful single lens camera, he muttered “nah” and thankfully went along his way.

As some people move away from smartphones and back to dumbphones, I believe my iPhone 8 bridges the gap: letting me cling on to the smartphone universe, with a foot firmly planted in reality.

Is it so wrong to want to keep a piece of perfectly good advanced technology for more than two years?

The only thing I would like is a better camera, but I’ve got my ten year old Nikon for that.

Take a look at our guides to the best camera phones, the iPhones for photography, and the best lenses for iPhone and Android camera phones.